When it comes to dealing with the death of a loved one, it is important to remember that each person grieves differently. There will be many people who will offer advice on how you are “supposed” to grieve, but each person is different. For one person, grief might come in precise stages, but for another person, it will be a melding of different emotions and feelings.
People who have suffered the recent loss of a loved will often hear people tell them to “cheer up”, “be strong”, or that it is “time for them to move on with their lives.” However, what you must remember is that the grief is yours. It is not anyone else’s, and it is important for you to allow it run its natural course. Grieving is a process that is unique to each person, and you should not allow anyone to pressure you into grieving a certain way.
Grief will manifest itself in more than just feelings. It is also going to appear in your thought processes. For example, you might feel disbelief at the fact that your loved one is actually gone. It is not uncommon for your mental clarity to be muddled. It might be difficult for you to concentrate on anything. You might try to focus your attention on different things, but all you can think about is your loved one.
The human body often responds physically to grief as well. Common physical symptoms of grief include tightness in the throat, pain around the heart, upset stomachs, difficulties sleeping, and restlessness. Many people often form odd attachments to the possessions of the loved one they lost. Other will engage in what is known as “searching behavior”, where they constantly seek out the face of their loved in a crowd of people.
There is no one size fits all when it comes to grief. While you cannot predict when the changes will occur, you will gradually come to find that small actions have meaning again. Your energy will begin to return, and you will be renewed. Loss is a basic part of life that must be accepted. If you find that your grieving symptoms are unusually severe or persist for months on end with no respite, then you may need to seek professional help. Otherwise, the best method of dealing with grief is to allow it to run its natural course.