Many times I’ve wished I would have sent out a miscarriage sympathy card. At the time I wasn’t sure if it would be comforting or not. I wasn’t even sure if people sent out sympathy cards for miscarriages.
If only I had known more about the kind of grief couples experience at a time like this.
Did you know that many bereavement forums have a section for venting about rude and insensitive things people say. Many grieving individuals are actually seeking support for secondary pain they’ve suffered as a result of the way people have treated them during their loss!
It seems to me that miscarriage of all losses is met with even more hurtful comments than usual.
Whatever you decide to write please steer of clear of these statements.
- “It was meant to be.”
- “It was for the best.”
- “Your baby is in a better place now.”
- “Time heals all wounds.”
- “I know exactly how you feel.” (even if you have experienced a similar loss)
- “At least you have other children.” or “you can always have another baby.”
Many people try to relate to someone’s loss by telling their own story. This is especially common with miscarriage. I recently saw a statistic that said that 1 in 5 pregnancy ends in miscarriage. It is a loss that many women have experienced. It can be different for everybody, but for all couples it is a profound loss that is hard to explain and can bring all kinds of difficult emotions to the surface. It is definitely a time when one could use a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear or a thoughtful card.
It is never a good idea to say, “I know exactly how you feel.” Each person’s loss and grief experience to unique to them.
So, why should you send a miscarriage sympathy card?
Miscarriage is often a loss that is not acknowledged by others and it can be helpful to know that the sorrow that you feel is not without reason. When others recognize your loss it can help validate your feelings. Your card can let a friend know that you care and that they are not alone in their grief.
If you have experienced a miscarriage loss that you feel can help you relate and provide support to a grieving friend, here is the right way to share it.
Share something that helped you get through that difficult time. Even going so far as to get them that very thing that helped you. If it was a certain song that comforted you, you could burn them a copy of it. If it was a poem that you found, you could copy it down for them. If you got a piece of memorial jewelry to remember your baby by, you could get them a gift certificate for the same store. Simply mention that you’ve also had a miscarriage too and that you are available to talk or answer any questions she may have. Leave it at that and wait to share your experience until asked.
Writing a message in a miscarriage sympathy card is actually fairly simple. You do not have to write a message that specifically addresses the miscarriage. Some common sympathy card messages that you can use are:
“Our deepest sympathies during your time of loss. Please know that we are here for you. With love and prayers,”
“Although no words can really help to ease the loss you bear, just know that you are very close in every thought and prayer.”
“Words seem inadequate to express the sadness we feel. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.”
“Thinking of you, wishing you hope in the mist of sorrow, comfort in the midst of pain.”
With miscarriage loss one of the most helpful things for women is to simply have those around them offer their sympathy and to not have people act awkward around them or avoid them. Sending a card is a simple things that can make a big difference. If you know somebody who has suffered a miscarriage please come by and get more great ideas for sending a miscarriage sympathy card.