Death is an inevitable part of life and unfortunately we will all be touched by the finger of death at some point in our lives. It may be the death of a close friend, a beloved pet, or a dear family member. Death is a difficult thing to work through. It leaves you feeling so empty and alone. But there are ways that you can find peace after the death of a loved one.
When you lose someone close to you, your senses are flooded with a multitude of emotions. Denial, anger, sadness, and frustration are just a few of the feelings you may experience. This is perfectly normal and everyone has to go through different emotions when dealing with death.
We experience denial both when we first learn of the death and sometimes days and weeks later. Someone has made a mistake, I had a bad dream, these are just a few of the thoughts you may experience in the denial stage. Denial is stronger when dealing with accidental or sudden death. In this case denial may last longer than it does when you lose someone to an illness or old age.
Anger and frustration occurs both soon after the loss and even many years later. You wish the person was here to help you with a project or you are dealing with finances you don’t understand. It is perfectly normal to feel anger toward the person you lost. After all, they left you alone. This is a natural sentiment and something that you will feel.
Sadness and grief are the first things someone thinks of when dealing with death. These are the emotions that everyone expects you to have. You are lost and missing the person so much. These feelings of sadness and grief will come and go especially through the first year as you deal with many ‘firsts’ without them.
So how can you find peace when you are grieving? First of all you need to understand that all these emotions are a normal part of the grieving process. You need to experience them to properly heal. It is okay to be mad at the person who died. Someday that anger will subside and you will have overcome the frustration of loss. Sadness and grief will probably be with you for life, but they get easier to deal with over time. It will not be a all consuming sadness that you feel right after the death, but it will mellow into a longing or melancholy feeling. Something you will feel only occasionally. This is normal after all you lost someone very close to you. You will always miss them and feel their loss it just won’t always be painful.
Time is a great healer. Even though you may feel that you cannot survive another day because the grief is so overwhelming, you can and you will. Face each day and conquer it! Spend time with friends and read uplifting books. These things can really help when dealing with grief. There are many books written about death and dying. If you believe in an afterlife, books about near death experiences can be helpful. After the loss of my brother I read several of these books and they brought me peace. I had a better understanding of what happened when he died and where he was now.
Some days you may feel like you just can’t face the world, this is okay just don’t let it become a habit. Many people let grief win and overtake their lives. They become consumed in their sorrow and almost cease to function. This actually becomes detrimental to their health. No matter how hard it may seem, you need to move forward. Keep your loved ones in your heart, but allow yourself to live as well. Think about what they would want. Would they want you to suffer endlessly because of their death?
Many people turn to religion when they lose someone. Faith is a great healer and it helps us believe in a better life for both us and the person who died. Most religions teach of an afterlife where everyone is at peace and happy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the Mormons, believe that families will be together forever in the afterlife. This belief brings great comfort to families who have lost loved ones and especially to parents who have lost children.
You can find peace and healing after losing someone close to you. Remember that it is okay to feel a range of emotions. Time will help you overcome the anger and will dull the pain of loss. But you will always remember the person you lost. After all, they were an important part of your life.